Gen3x

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No rings no strings, right?

Cybersex

Cybersex

Online affairs, cyber-sex, sexting and sex-chat now seems to be the new way of hooking up for safe sex without any commitment or risk – but is it?  If you randomly ask anyone “What is unsafe sex” the reply will be “sex without a condom” that is the least of it. There are always consequences for our actions and sin always has a price to pay.

– Are you lonely tonight –

For those who are unfamiliar with this behaviour, I will briefly explain it to you. An online affair is an online (Internet) romantic and sexual relationship, sometimes one of brief duration, between two people who are not married to each other. You might think that this sounds harmless and boring because you aren’t really with the person, but these relationships touch spiritual, deep emotional, sexual needs and desires. They can grow into a more permanent relationship where you meet the person in the flesh, have sex, and start a relationship that can lead to marriage or children. Online sex-chat and affairs start small, but can quickly become big. It may seem low risk, because they cannot touch you, or know your name unless you want them to. Ideally, you should just be able to turn off the power to your computer, and just walk away, but online affairs and sex-chat have many unseen drawbacks and risks that in the end, can cost you and the person you are having the affair with, everything you love and value.

Although I do not want to educate people on how to sin, I do want people to understand this behaviour so that they can identify and avoid it. Sex-chat happens when two people get online and either chat on their messenger (Yahoo, AOL, MSN, or whatever you use), or they chat in public chat rooms and go into a private conversation. There are also dedicated free porn sites that offer real-time video sex chat. When these people chat, they type in a romantic/sexual dialogue that is meant to stimulate and arouse each other sexually and emotionally, and they usually masturbate while doing it. I know your first question is; “how can they do all that with two hands?” Well, I guess you just have to be motivated and skilled enough, and that’s as far as I will go with that. Some people also have web cams, which allow them to visually interact, as well as using their microphone rather than using a keyboard to communicate. When they are done, they may move on to someone else, or become more attached to each other emotionally and begin a deeper online relationship.

-Not tonight Dear I’m loggin On –

Some people may take their relationship to the next level and meet, or some people actually leave their spouse and kids for their new online romance. The feelings of lust and infatuation can be very strong, but also very misleading and deceiving. You might think this is a horrible, selfish, and disgusting way for a responsible mother or father to act, but it is no different than throwing your life away for drugs or alcohol. They may be trying to relieve old unhealed emotional pain with sensual and emotional pleasure. We must be careful to always try to be objective about someone else’s problems, especially if you think you are beyond committing them.  Cybersex is like ice cream, it may come in many flavours, but it’s still all just ice cream (and poisonous at that). Just because you like chocolate, and someone else likes vanilla, doesn’t mean that your ice cream is any better or worse than somebody else’s. The root problem and answer are the same for all who are trapped in sin.

Often after a climax during sex-chat, the lust subsides, and the guilt kicks in. You swear you will never do “that” again, and resolve to do what’s right from now on. The problem is, sin doesn’t let you off the hook that easy. That romance fix, or sexual fix you got today, will be crying out for even more gratification tomorrow. Plus, there is the physical need to have sex that will come back and push you for more gratification. What you used to think you controlled, now controls you. Some people throw their computers away, but loneliness and lust call them back again. Many people eventually get caught by their spouse, kids, boss, or someone else, and in one second everyone’s trust in you, and your reputation, can take a huge nosedive. If it is your spouse that catches you, you may be packing a suitcase, if it’s a boss, you may be cleaning out your desk. Does this sound far-fetched to you? Well, trust me, it’s not. It is a very serious problem in our culture and society today. Many marriages have been ruined by online affairs and sex-chat.

Are you playing spiritual roulette? click here to find out

 

– filling the void –

Most men who are heavily into pornography lose interest in natural sex. Many women who were not affirmed and valued properly by their fathers will never feel validated as an adult woman, and will unconsciously and vicariously try to meet that unmet need through an affair(s). Online affairs, and sex-chat are nothing more than life-cheating adultery. God made good rules for us to live by, and we will be at our happiest, healthiest, and most satisfied, when we follow them. God also wants to heal your heart at the root level, from all the old unhealed emotional pain that you are trying to manage and relieve through sexual pleasure  (affairs, sex chat, masturbation). If you are having an online affair or sex-chatting  problem right now, then there is a way out of this dark hole you are trapped in my friend. If you are truly willing to let go of this addiction, God will do everything to help you. There are many people and couples, who have successfully worked through this, but you must be willing to surrender this problem to The Lordship of Jesus Christ completely.  click here  to go to Cybersex prayer.

It’s not only the adults who are involved in sexting, our kids don’t use their mobiles like we do. Check out this Teen sexting graph to see what they are up to.

 

Gen3x – Fighting Pornography

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

 

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Cybersex Prayer

 

Dear God, I am so sorry for committing spiritual adultery and sexual immorality against You, my spouse, and my body. I ask that You would forgive me for cheating with the sexual rules you have set up for us to live by. God, I ask that You would help me to get out of this nightmare, right now, today. I now repent of all forms of adultery, sexual immorality, sexual perversion, masturbation, lustful fantasizing, pornography, and especially from hurting You and those I love. As you forgave King David for his adultery, and the woman caught in adultery that you saved from stoning, I ask for that same mercy right now. Help me to forgive myself also in this healing process. Holy Spirit heal the pain and fill the emptiness that drives me to do what I do. Guide my paths and my decisions, show me what to do next as I turn away from my ungodly lifestyle. I commit all of my heart and life to you this day. In Jesus name I pray, Amen

 

Gen3x – Fighting Pornography Together

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

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Is this the Bride of Christ?

Is The Church Alive?

 

God’s Church today is being raped and pillaged by an invasion of Pornography and sexual impurity. There are alarming levels of promiscuity among those who call themselves believers of Jesus Christ. So many Christians are totally oblivious to the spreading epidemic of pornography in the Body of Christ today, but they shouldn’t be, since it occurs in the church as much as the world.

 – The last taboo –

When it comes to pornography and sexual immorality, the church is a lazy sleeping giant. Church leaders need to be more aware and open to what men and women are struggling with today. Do they honestly believe that this problem is only happening in the denomination down the road or across the other side of the world?  Or perhaps if they leave it alone long enough it just might go away by itself!  Do they really care?  Because that seems to be the message that they are putting out.  The church has done well in addressing and highlighting many issues over the past like poverty, slavery, domestic violence, broken homes, divorce, unmarried/single mothers, alcoholic and drug addictions, etc. But there is still a taboo surrounding the subject of the sexually broken within the Body of Christ. It’s sad to think that there are millions of believers caught up in pornography yet so little being done to help.  Why are we happy putting up with a Church that isn’t prepared to face up to the fact that pornography, along with sexual immorality, equals sexual brokenness with in the body of Christ?

We’ve all sat in church pouring out our sympathy and compassion as we have listened to the testimony of the alcoholic and drug addict, and rightly so, these are life destroying addictions, but the moment a guy stands up to talk about pornography, compulsive masturbation WELL that’s another story. You see most of the condemnation is coming from within the church. Satan also knows that every Kingdom divided against itself is laid waste and no house divided against itself will stand Matt 12: 25.

 – Is Pornography Satan’s Trojan horse within the Church? –

We all know that it’s here, we can see and feel it’s effect all round us, but we are all too afraid to stand up too it in case it exposes what we’ve been up too.

We know what happens in the world, Satan has them were he wants them, deceived and blinded under the influence of his global media empire. His message is attacking Gods values every day.

Satan especially likes to pervert sex because sex was intended for marriage only. Marriage was the first institution God created and it is the cornerstone of society. God says the marriage bed is to be honoured and not to be defiled Heb 13:4 so Satan has gone all out to completely destroy marriage and pervert sex.

The world is throwing this filth in our faces every day, deceiving us into believing that it’s no big deal, it’s all harmless fun – we’re supposed to be modern men – we can handle it,  but the moment we resist and repent, stand up and cry out for the millionth time “no more!! ” where do we go from there? Where is the church to be found in all of this? Where is the help? Where is the understanding, the support, the accountability, the compassion, the hope, the guidance, the restoration, the Church? WHERE IS IT?????

Instead we end up going faithfully to a church that’s almost divided and exploited because of its laziness/ ignorance.  Has got its head stuck firmly in the sand and that’s pretty ill-equipped to tackle this problem head on, taking advice from leaders; who aren’t themselves totally pure or properly equipped for this battle. Why do we end up running the gauntlet and listening to the double standards of the holier than thou brigade as they ridicule a Pastor or brother who has fallen into this area of sexual sin? Putting up with a chorus of pervert, filthy beast, dirty old man and the rest of the taunts that we have all cringed to, whilst trying to give the impression that there’s nothing going on in our own lives. Why is the Christian Army the only army who shoot their wounded?

John 8 v 7 – he that is without sin among you let him first cast the stone.

 – Pornography doesn’t discriminate –

We shouldn’t be surprised at the attacks of the enemy. Scripture has pre-warned us about this invasion in the last days. Rev 12 :15 The serpent poured water like a river out of his mouth after the woman to sweep her away with a flood. Who cannot deny that pornography has come in like a tsunami upon society and especially against the church in these last days, sweeping away men and their families, Pastors, Church leaders, Sunday school teachers, Worship leaders and anything else that gets in its way?

We can all remember the aftermath of the damage caused by the tsunami in Japan. What sort of damage is the wave of pornography leaving behind on a more personal level? 47% of families in the U.S. claim that pornography is a problem in the home and now pornography seems to be a contributing factor in divorce.

Is it any wonder that Satan is mocking the body of Christ? All this destruction is happening during a time of unparalleled church growth. So while mass evangelism is bringing people in through the front door, the evil one is dragging them out the back door through impurity. The Church must do something. This problem can’t go on any longer unnoticed and unchecked, there needs to be greater awareness to the struggles that men and women are facing and keeping in secret. Church needs to waken up to the extent and severity of this problem and rise up to meet it.  Who gets the shame and blame when a Christian is exposed in sexual immorality?  We carry and represent the name of Jesus.

When was the last time you heard a service preached on a Sunday morning about the elephant sitting in the pew? I mean that this issue is so big it’s a wonder how it has went so long without being noticed or more importantly challenged.

In fact over 40% of church goers want to hear more of this topic in church.

What are the shepherds getting up to?  Click here to find out.

There is no point getting upset at another pastor falling into sin, if we choose to refuse and even acknowledge that there is a problem.  We have to be praying for our leaders and sharing in each other’s burden. Pornography doesn’t discriminate, it isn’t prejudice, it doesn’t care if you are Presbyterian, Methodist, Baptist, Brethren, Anglican, Non-Denominational, Catholic – it has the welcome mat out for everybody.  We must get out of our camp’s lay aside our doctrines and show a united front against this unholy crusade that the body of Christ is experiencing.  Click here to go to Is the Church Alive prayer

Gen 3x – Overcoming Pornography

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

 

 

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Are you playing spiritual roulette?

 

Spiritually, you are putting your marriage under a huge risk, God has said that the only legal sexual relationship to Him, is a husband and wife having sexual intercourse for the purpose of marital intimacy, mutual physical pleasure,or for creating children. Matt 5:27-28 Jesus said that if you are even looking at someone to lust after them and fantasizing, you are having sex with them (a necessary requirement for masturbation), then you are guilty of real adultery. Anyone who has sex-chatted for a time can tell you that it is more than just sex. There is a spiritual union and intimacy that takes place when doing it, where you mingle your soul with the other person you are having cyber sex with.  God said in Mark 10 8 “the two shall become one flesh“, which means there has been an ungodly union to another person who you are not married too so  you end up being soul-tied to that person wherever you go, which is why many spouses can spiritually pick up if you have been with someone else. You will end up with “spiritual lipstick” on your collar. God has said very clearly, 1Cor: 6 v 9 that anyone who habitually commits sexual sin will not be allowed into heaven and there is only one other place to go after that, hell. He alone is the only one that created and designed the human body, so He alone has the right to tell us the right and wrong way can use our bodies sexually. If your car breaks down, you consult the manufacturer to fix it, because they have made the car, and know the right way to use and repair the car. God is our Manufacturer.

In the latter stages of an online romance, it is usually either broken off, taken to the next level, or discovered by others, and then that person may end up divorced for adultery. If a woman sees no future in a relationship, or if the affair has lost its romantic spark, she may just break things off and move on to find her needs met by somebody new. Because of the ungodly soul-ties involved it may take several tries to finally end the relationship and it won’t be an easy process. A man will carry on the relationship as long as he gets sexual pleasure out of it. Most online affairs do nothing but dirty a persons soul, make them a nervous wreck afraid of getting caught, and/or cause deep depression, shame, and guilt that they try to relieve with other kinds of pleasure fixes like drugs, smoking, food, or alcohol. Even if you don’t get caught, you will always have to carry that guilt around inside you, which can be a terrible burden and weight to bear. Or they may worry that their ex-lover may come back around and somehow tell on them. It is hard to look into your children’s eyes every day, knowing the risk you are taking with their future and lives.

 Gen3x – Fighting Pornography Together

“Hear, O Israel, Ye Approach This Day Unto Battle Against Your Enemies: Let Not Your Hearts Faint, Fear Not, And Do Not Tremble, Neither Be Ye Terrified Because Of Them. “Deuteronomy 20v3

 

 

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Are You Dwelling on Your Husband’s Sins?

 

BEAUTY FOR ASHES – HELP FOR A HURTING WIFE

 

DAY 16 – Are You Dwelling on your Husband’s Sins?

 

Matthew 7 3 – Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

 

When my husband first confessed to me about his struggle with pornography, I remember looking at him with shock and disgust.  I actually went to the bathroom because I thought I was going to be physically sick.  Obviously, I was feeling hurt, betrayed, angry and stupid because I’d been fooled and lied to all these years, which was a natural, immediate response to such news.  However, instead of forgiving him and becoming united with him in order help him and to work it out between us, I began to feel sorry for myself.  I was bitter for a long time and when I looked at my husband I would see him as a “bad” person and me as the victim.

 

I Was Wallowing in Self-Pity

I enrolled in an online course for spouses whose husbands were involved in pornography and I began to see that I, too, was sinning because I wasn’t letting go of the wrongs done to me and I was looking at my husband’s faults of viewing pornography (which was in the past by then) and his anger issues at that time, as being worse than my faults.  I was judging him and I was not seeing my own bitterness and self-pity as a sin in God’s eyes.  I refused to acknowledge that he was changing and was being set free from the emotional damage that his guilt had caused.

 

Remove the plank from your own eye and you will see much clearer
Remove the plank from your own eye and you will see much clearer

Ask God to Help You

I had to ask God to help me cast out the plank in my own eye in order to make me more clear-sighted, to be more sympathetic towards my husband’s past and present struggles at that time.

 

Focus on Your Own Shortcomings First

Jesus was very clear and straight about pointing out other people’s faults. He calls us all hypocrites when we condemn others.  He said that other people’s faults are like a speck of dust compared to our faults which were like a wooden plank or board.  Why is it, we can’t seem to diagnose our own faults, but yet it’s so easy to see everyone else’s?

This is not to say that our husbands don’t have faults, bad habits and sins. Like all of us, they do. Nor am I trying to make light of what he has done and how you have suffered from the repercussions of those sins.  But despite that, God wants us to focus on our own faults first.

Start everyday with asking Jesus to illuminate your own faults and then asking for His help to fix them.

 

What is Your Motive for Pointing Out Your Husband’s Sin?

Is your motive to help him recover and get back in full fellowship with the Lord or is it to criticize and condemn him?  Our motive should always be towards restoration and not condemnation or humiliation.

Couple arguing

 

Of Course I get angry, but it’s only because of how he treats me!

If you say this, you are excusing your own sins by blaming them on your husband.   Adam blamed Eve when God confronted him for sinning, but God did not accept his excuse, just like He will not accept ours.  Every person is accountable for his/her own choices.

No matter what your husband does, or how he treats you, the Bible tells us we need to respond in a Christ-like manner.  “Do not repay anyone evil for evil” and “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good”  Romans 12:17 & Romans 12:21.

 

 

But He’ll Take Advantage of Me!

Maybe you are afraid that if you focus on your own shortcomings, your husband will take advantage of this.  It is possible, but most likely your change in attitude could inspire him to change too.  Keep bringing your husband to God in prayer.

Spend some quiet time with God, asking Him to show you how to see more clearly and to respond in the way He would want you to respond.

Listen to your husband.  Seek to truly understand his opinions and emotions. When you understand where he is coming from, look for ways to minister to him as you talk.

 

Do Not Allow Physical Abuse

You should never allow physical abuse. Be prepared to take action by contacting the Police or Social Services. Acts 25:10-11 tells us what to do in times like this.

 

Be Gentle!

If you start to point out your husband’s faults before removing the plank from your own eye, you will not see clearly and you will probably do more harm than good.  Galatians 6:1 tells us “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently.” After the plank is removed from your own eye, with God’s grace, you will be able to help your husband in a loving, courteous and respectful manner.

 

Jesus Showed us Grace and We Are to Be More Like Him

I didn’t really show much grace to my husband at first, I didn’t think he deserved it, but then did Jesus deserve to be whipped, beaten and crucified for me?  He still loves me the same, even though I have failed him many times.  I asked God to give me grace and a supernatural love and understanding for my husband.  I began to see him in a new light, and we are both able to help each other get through our shortcomings.

God has restored all those years the locusts had eaten and I believe He will do the same for you too!

 

Beauty for Ashes

Gen3x – Helping wives of men involved to sexual impurity